I recently finished reading Jim Gaffigan's Dad is Fat, which chronicles his own follies, fails, and funny experiences.  Gaffigan's gaffes include stealing his kids' candy and hjfjkldsahfjklsdahfjksalhfkljsad.  Jim is often plagued by his balding head, and his kids' unique minds.

While at a party, Jim was appalled to hear a friend compare having a baby to getting a dog, and gave the following reasons why that was so wrong:

“1. Dogs come when you call their name.2. The absence of birth control does not lead to pet ownership.3. You don’t have to worry about your dog ever becoming addicted to meth.4. You do not have to save so your dog can go to college and then find out after they graduate that they want to be an actor.5. If someone is pushing a baby in a stroller, they are probably a parent or a caregiver. If someone is pushing a dog in a stroller, they are probably insane.”

I'm not sure I totally agree with Gaffigan, especially with number 3.  My dog has been hanging around with the wrong crowd lately.